Shame

Heyya Guys,

Today, I spent an hour looking at the mirror (I was not being vain), and you know what… I couldn’t believe my eyes. I didn’t realize how much I’ve changed… but now I know. I’ve always hated prejudice… In fact, I’ve always considered all humans my equals. Or I thought I did.

You guys know by now how much I hate self-centered snobs, who think only about themselves and who think that every one is below them. Till know I’ve always thought that these people only existed in the posh groups who attend SAC. Well I was literally disgusted when I realized that I’m not really different from these guys.

I admit that I pass lame comments about people living in the South. So before continuing this post, I must officially apologize to any one I’ve offended, guys I love you, I’m half South and proud of it. But that’s not why I’m writing today. I’m sure that you all know by now that I always attended church schools, and I guess unknowingly this affected my perception.

I owe ‘all my knowledge’ (not much hehe) to my parents, cause it’s only thanks to them that I could pursue my studies. However sometimes I forget Dawain’s theory and believe that I’m some what superior… BULLSHIT, I’m just luckier.

If you’re thinking that I’m exaggerating and that I’m being hard on myself please stop. I’m so ashamed guys… I actually looked down on someone. I won’t go into details… but I did. I didn’t notice at first, cause I masked it with other fake judgments. But we all look down on people (at least one time in our life); the problem is that I actually can’t do anything to change this…

I don’t know why I’m writing this… I guess I felt that you have a right to know.

With Love
Pluty xxx

EXAMS

Heyya guys,

It’s been some time since I've posted anything. I’m sure you’ll understand me, with all these bloody exams round the corner. I’d be really grateful if anyone answers this question for me: “WHY THE TRUCK DO WE HAVE TO SIT FOR EXAMS?” It is clearly just a load of stress. I guess Bowles and Gintis were right after all (if you’re thinking that I’m a nerd, well then pick a finger and sit on it); but let’s face it, it is really true we are over taught some times. What is Owen’s “SIW” gonna give me in life, pfft teach me how to commit suicide? Hardly. Where am I gonna stuff the Pure Maths “knowledge” I should know. Heh I gotta an idea! “Up my BIG FAT ….”


We are only human, teenage humans which is kinda worse. We all have ambitions right now. Well I do… don’t you?//? At this rate they’re all going down the drain. I forgot when I last got on a stage and felt awesome about it. You know why it is so? YEAH I GUESS YOU DO. Oh please tell me it’s not just me that is experiencing all these mixed feelings.

I dunno who I am anymore, one minute I’m overjoyed, the next I’m wiping mascara of my cheek. HUH. I know I should be studying right now (and now I am) but still I simply know it’s not enough. I can’t help it though I can’t seem to concentrate. I think to myself… oks Pluty settle down and study. Well does it ever happen to you that you’re sure you must do something and you’re simply focused on that, but you do the exact opposite? Well it’s happening to me, and it is not GREAT.

Well just 31 more days of hell and it’s over. UNLESS I got resists… GOD FORBID. But there is one good thing about exams… They don’t give you time to think about other probs. Well, I guess I’ll have plenty of time to think about them.

With Love
PLUTYXXX